Last Thursday I went and saw my neurologist. I explained what I was going through and she said it could be the natural progression of the disease or I indeed could have a cold or a touch of the flu. She said at my stage a cold or something like that can knock your nervous system for a loop and you are essentially bedridden until you get over it.

She did strength tests on my left and right sides. I couldn't even get my right leg or arm into position for her to do the test [the test is essentially lift your leg or arm against her resistance]. Of course she said I am significantly weaker than from my last visit.

She wants to put me on steroids to give my nervous system an added little boost. It sounds ok to me. She did caution me though, that there were side effects. I told her I know, I know, I'll end up being a buff angry young man. She said not quite. My emotions will become, ah, heightened. She said I'll cry more readily, anger more easily, and have feelings of hopelessness and depression. Irene was there and said "Oh terrific.", which made me laugh. Dr. Devonshire snickered, but she said yes, it is often just as hard on those around you. We all had to pause and remember it was the steroids.

 Three or fours days after swimming my strength just seemed to be waning. Getting up the stairs to our bedroom just got harder and harder. It got to he point where Irene had to lift my right leg and place it on the next step.
And, believe it or not, getting down was almost impossible. To get down the stairs I essentially had to fall to the floor and slide down the steps.  At the bottom of the stairs Irene and I had to struggle to get me up standing.

Over the next few days my right leg basically became dead weight. Even when standing I really couldn't do anything. A few times Irene and I would struggle and get me upstairs and I'd be too weak to go the ten feet to our bedroom. I fell a couple of times, but luckily onto the soft wall to wall carpet.

I experienced weakness like this a year or so ago when I caught some kind stomach flue. It pasted after a few days, but this time I just didn't seem to improve, but  continuously get worse.

Eventually I had to use a wheelchair just to get around the house. Last weekend we asked Calvin and Mihn to bring a bed downstairs and we set up a bedroom for me in the living room.

I've got Fraser health coming in January to assess the house and my needs. And later this week I've got an appointment with my neurologist. Lets hope she has some good news.

 Shortly after my last post my brother Greg was in town and he took me swimming to Eileen Daily pool. It is a great pool with a gentle slope into a shallow wading part of the pool. They have wheel chairs that can go into the pool so it is perfect. I don't really swim any more but just getting in the water is great. Greg's daughters Eleanor, with her three year old daughter Christina, and Liz met us there, so it was great. We talked, caught up and splashed around. I got over to the five foot deep area and practiced walking without fear of falling. It was a great evening and I slept the soundest I have for a long time.

Things have been going really great. My heath is great [aside from being all f'd up], my spirits are great, I haven't insulted my wife or friends lately, and my finances are great. Things are going swimmingly. The only real downside is my exercises.  I hate exercising.

My exercise regime has regressed to 50 knee squats in the morning and 50 sitting floor touches when I remember. I know I need to do more, but at least I'm still doing something.

Hey, if you are interested, here is a link to my investing blog;
http://angrydumbinvestor.blogspot.ca/

I was thinking of starting up a short story blog, but I just haven't done it yet.

Hey, what else am I going to do?

Things have been going pretty good, except I fell last weekend. I was going from the living room to my office, shuffling along as usual, but for some silly reason I was in a hurry. I shuffle sideways and I  swung my right foot too far forward, got off balance, and fell backwards.

I gave my head quite a wallop on the tiled floor. I didn't black out, or see stars, but I definitely didn't feel very good. Luckily it was on the weekend and Irene was home. When she heard me crash to the floor she came rushing down from her sewing room. She fretted about but of course couldn't really do much. She got a pillow for me and I just lay where I fell for about fifteen minutes.

I can't get up myself and I'm too big and heavy for Irene alone, so after I'd rested I slid on my back to the laundry room, with me pushing with my one good leg and Irene pulling the pillow. It took awhile but I got into the laundry room and with Irene's help was able to pull myself up.

I had a grinding headache so took a couple of aspirins. The rest of that day was unpleasant, but I was ok the next day. I was sore on my hip, where I hit the floor, but there was no visible bruise.

I was a little scared about shuffling around our house for awhile but I'm over that now. I have just got to take things nice and slow. And most importantly; be careful.

Vision through both eyes is fine now.

I was going to post the shimmering has gone away and all is good, and it was for a few hours, but it is back.

This time it is wholly in my good left eye. It is an almost rainbow shimmering curved line in the periphery of the upper left quadrant of my left eye's field of vision.  I can still see and watch T\V and use the computer, but it is very odd.

Well this is quite disconcerting. Today I am having almost the same vision impairment in my left eye; my good eye. And everything was going so well.

About 11:30 this morning it started out as a tiny little area in the lower left of my field of vision. It was like a spot the size of a fingerprint that would no focus or resolve into anything. And then, over the next hour or so it developed into the same sort of shimmering semi circle of blurryness.

Hmmm. This is really weird. When I close on eye an look through the other there is a slight shimmering semi circle artifact but it is not very pronounced. It is comparable with either eye. But when I use both eyes, normally, the shimmering semicircle is very pronounced. And its not just double, it's very pronounced.

This is really hard to type and spell check. Luckily I've got all day.

Ya...my vision through my right eye is definitely worse. When I close my left eye and look through my right eye I am able to see, but I need to stare at things and move my head around to see them. Reading my monitor with just my right eye is near impossible. This is kind of the shits.

And then at around 5:30 the shimmering band went away. Wow, what a relief. My vision through my right eye still seems to be a little off, just not quite as sharp, but at least things aren't blurry and shimmering.

Jeeze, everything seems to happen at once.

Today around 4 in the afternoon I was using the computer downstairs and just couldn't read anything. Its kind of dark down there, so I quit the computer and turned on the big screen TV. It didn't seem that clear either. I mean I could make things out and everything, but there was something not quite right. I made my way upstairs where things are much brighter. It is a beautiful bright, warm summer day and the sunlight and warmth are pouring in.

In thew brighter light I could see that through my right eye there was a clear, shimmering, semicircle thick band of distortion. It is hard to describe its size, but while looking at a 20” lcd monitor about 1.5 ~ 2 feet away, it would appear to be about 4” ~6” in width and form half a ring through half my field of vision. Interestingly, the centre of the ring, crescent really, was fine. Only the band of the ring was distorted and shimmering. It was really quite amazing, and frightening.

I blinked and squinted to get rid of it, but of course I couldn't. Irene came home from work and noticed me blinking and squinting and asked what was wrong. I didn't want to alarm her so said nothing and did my best to stop squinting and blinking.

Now shuffling around is going to be an even greater challenge. I seem to get my balance through my sight so that is going to become an issue. And I am going to need to be doubly careful about throw rugs, water on tiles, and things on the floor. This is just so weird.

For the most part I have a pretty positive attitude. But even the most upbeat people go through down days and down funks. During my last down funk I was going to shut down this blog and spend the rest of my days in bed. Basically, it can all be summed up like this; CCSVI doesn't work and living with MS is the shits. But, I can't just quit like that. And, when I go to bed, every part of my body that touches the mattress hurts. My MS is telling me to get up and get going. So, this will continue. Know one is reading it but me, but that doesn't matter because I'm doing it for myself anyway. The one thing I am going to try and do is post sonmething at least once a week.

This last Saturday was particularly bad. Right after getting up, Gord came over and we went down to the Park Crest for brunch. That was fine and afterwards Gord brought me home and went his merry way. Irene had gone out and bought some newspapers so I sat down and spent an hour or so reading Friday and Saturday's sun. Afterward I got up, came into my office and replied to some e-mails. I then went downstairs and spent a couple of hours watching TV. Around five Irene called me and said dinner was ready and there was a hockey game. Irene and I watch the games together in the main floor family room. The TV there is a plasma and better for hockey. It was a great game, going into overtime. LA ended up winning. After the game Calvin came over and I ended up talking to him for about and hour. So, all in all I was sitting most of the day [as usual] and sitting in the family room from about 5 to 9:30. I was ready to make my way upstairs and I couldn't get up. Luckily Calvin was still here. He helped me to my feet, essentially lifting me up. I could stand, but I couldn't make it up the stairs, and I really had to pee. I couldn't really walk [more of a shuffle when I can do it] so Calvin leaned me against the wall and went and got my office chair. He sat me down then wheeled me into the bathroom. I don't know how he did it, but he managed to get my pants down and me seated on the toilet. Man that was a good pee. Getting me up off the toilet back into my office chair was a struggle, but he did it. He wheeled me back to the stairs going up to the bedrooms. Calvin and Irene had to help me up the stairs. They got me to bed and I was there for the duration. Except half way though the night I had to pee an Irene had to help me to the toilet. I don't know what happened, but bam, all of a sudden I had no strength. Sunday I got up around 10:00 and managed to go take a pee, brush my teeth and wash my face unassisted. I made it to the stairs but couldn't make it down standing. I half fell sat down and slid on my bum all the way down, which is ok, I've done that before. Poor Irene. She is concerned and wants to help me, but I'm a little too big and she's a little too small. I slid all the way down but just did not have the strength to stand at the bottom. Irene and I together couldn't get me up, but fortunately Val and Mihn were coming over. When they got here Minh lifted me up like a rag doll. They eventually left and I was able to move around, essentially going from chair to chair. I don't know what caused this sudden weakness but it really has me worried. This is clearly signs of things to come.

Vitamins and Exercise

I've been pretty good on taking my vitamins, but not so good on exercising. I can still walk, but just barely. My left leg is still strong, but I essentially cannot lift my right. So walking, with assistance is essentially taking a good step with my left, leaning, and swinging my right leg around and forward. Walking has gotten harder and harder so consequently I walk less and less. I counted my steps for a couple of days and figure I average 200 steps as day. That is pretty low, so I have enlisted some friends to help me. Gary,Gord and Wayne walk me a few additional steps when we go for breakfast or lunch. When first starting this [last week] I got Gary to walk me 300 additional steps. It just about killed me. So, with everyone, I'm trying to do an additional 50 steps. I can do that fairly easy. Next week, or the week after I'll bump it to 75 or 100 steps. I told Gary my goal was 5,000 steps [a day!], but I now know that is unrealistic. But any additional steps are better than none.

feeling down and blue

I'm still feeling down and blue because my dog Kolby died. I'm slowly getting over it. Believe it or not, having a regiment of exersises and vitamins to take help.

feeling frustrated.

Ah, who am I fooling. I'm taking my vitamins and doing my exercises and nothing has changed. I'm sore and have colorful pee; that is it. I'm f'd and am going to remain f'd no matter what I do.

At approximately 2:30 last Sunday afternoon Kolby, our 14 year old cocker spaniel was put to sleep. The week was very hard on him. He could barely lift his head and could not eat or drink on his own. Irene had bought a baby bottle and used it to feed and water him, but still, when we took him to the Vet on Friday he was extremely dehydrated. Saturday when we visited him he couldn't lift his head, but he wagged his tail as we petted him. On Sunday he was totally unresponsive and his breathing was very labored. The Vet offered no hope and said this was best. The Vet said he had pneumonia, a black stool indicating internal bleeding, highly elevated white blood cell count and high liver enzymes.The Vet believed this indicated either a tumor, a growth in/on his liver spleen or cancer. We will miss him.

It is a new year, but with no real new hope. What to do.

Oh well. I can't just give up and mope around. Well, I can't mope around any more than I am. So, for the new year I am going to do what I think will do me good, never mind all these experts and do gooders.
I am taking a daily vitamin D, C, B+ pill and eating a handful of walnuts. I like walnuts and my Dad read something saying it was good for your brains circulation or something like that. This is the kind of advice and suggestions I can use. Where is the article saying chocolate is good for MS when you need it?

I am also going to really try and do some exercises.  I get no exercise now and am getting fat. It can't be good for me. I've devised a set of exercises that suit me and my current limitations.
The exercises are;

• 30         arm swirls to the left then to the right
• 75         from sitting; flat hand floor touches
• 30~50   from sitting; joined hand, arm throwbacks
• 10          glide bike leg pushes
• 300        at night at the walker; small knee bends
• 10          standing at walker to just sitting on the bed knee bends [squats]

Written out it sounds like a lot of exercise,  but really it is nothing.

Lets see how it goes.